Another Rant - This One is About Friendships and Other Relationships......

A couple of months back a Facebook friend had a status that went something like;

“I’m done with all the friends I have that I only hear from if I call, text or e-mail first – enough of being used....”

This Facebook friend is not a close real life friend to me, just a casual acquaintance that is only my Facebook friend because she asked and if I know the person I never decline a friend invitation. So I am assured she was not talking about me.

Of course it made me think of one of my pet peeves and I figured that one day I would have to blog about it.

So today is the day…..

My problem with the whole who calls who friend thing is……..

DOES IT REALLY MATTER?????????

I do not for one second think this is any indication of love, affection and appreciation.

One of the problems with this mentality is that almost everyone thinks they are the ones that call, text, e-mail their friends and family the most……

I know I think that I’m the one that initiates most of the interactions with my friends and family.

I still feel that they love and appreciate me. I don’t feel used. I figure that if I didn’t call, text or e-mail that they would. I don’t feel the need to “test” them and I think comments like the one my Facebook friend made likely stems from a test given that was failed….

The biggest thing wrong with these “tests” is if you think a test is needed then chances are that person WILL fail. If you know your friend or family member loves you it won’t ever occur to you to test them.

In every relationship the people involved take on roles and those roles vary from relationship to relationship. Someone usually becomes the contact initiator.  It is irrelevant who picks up this role and not at all indicative of the quality or closeness of the relationship.

I hate to say it, but I think this line of thought is very much a grade seven mentality, petty, dumb and stupid.  That sounds harsh, but come on how many really great relationships have been damaged because of these thoughts????

I really believe that I am on this earth for a short period of time, here today, gone tomorrow, a wave in the sea, a speck in the wind, a flower fading away….. all those fantastic clichés. I refuse to waste my time concerning myself about who calls, texts, emails whom???

I also refuse to be concerned if I used the word whom correctly!!!

Instead I will concentrate on the person. You know if a relationship is divine, you don’t need to look for evidence of what the world says a good friend or family member is – you know in your gut if the relationship is meant to be or not.

Here’s another thought…. Maybe you and that person were put together because you have something to give them – sometimes it’s hard to wrap our minds around the fact it isn’t all about us????

Well that’s my rant on that…..

Happy Tuesday!

Fibre 1 Almond & Cluster Delight Cereal – I Got To Try It For Free and Now You Can Too!!!

I’ve been on a four year journey (at least) to live deliberately, more thoughtful and to be more present.

I’ve written before how this has been my only real intention – the intention to be intentional! This rather vague philosophy has been working and spilled into every area of my life - slowly but surely producing positive fruits.

One of these areas has been nutritionally; I’ve slimmed down and eat better. Naturally as improvement occurs you start to look at other ways you can be even more deliberate. For me one way was to start eating breakfast! I had thought about it a million times and that is where the intention stopped – a fleeting thought every now and then.

I was delighted when I was invited to try out General Mills brand new cereal Fibre 1 Almond & Cluster Delight. I was challenged to eat this cereal every morning for a week – what better way to take another step toward wellness???

I accepted and was delighted with the results!!!

This new cereal tastes really good and is healthy too! Containing 40% of your daily fibre intake – now that’s a pretty impressive percentage for a little bowl of cereal first thing in the morning!

Now I’ll be honest, I’m no nutritional guru and besides the one fibre benefit everyone knows about I wasn’t entirely sure about why it is so important! Thank God for Google, I learned that fibre accomplishes a lot. Controls blood glucose, manages blood pressure, reduces blood cholesterol, increases the feeling of being full, controls weight and of course… regulates bowel movements.

I’m not going to go into great details about my bathroom habits, but I will say that when my sister was studying to be a nurse and used me as a study dummy – she said she had never heard such loud bowels…. Um yeah I don’t struggle in that area, ever…………

However I did see the benefits of eating this healthy, tasty cereal right away. At first I was a bit concerned – it seemed that the early breakfast kicked off my appetite big time and by lunch I had completely consumed every item I’d brought to work. Now most of these items are healthy choices, but still I ate all morning and was still starving come lunch time. I wondered if maybe I wasn’t cut out for breakfast. Then I noticed something odd – no afternoon grumblings – typically come 4:30 I’m starving and by the time I get supper prepared at 5:30 or 6 I’m ravenous and can overeat. After the first day of eating breakfast this phenomena didn’t occur. So eating a bowl of great cereal at 6:30 in the morning made me less hungry and less likely to overeat at 5:30 in the evening.

Pretty cool hey????

Now how can you get in on trying this great cereal and other brand new General Mill products for FREE???? Zip over to their Facebook page – here.

Look for the logo shown above and click away to get your exclusive coupons to be used on July 16^th or July 23^rd!!! Very awesome that they are giving away their great new products! Thanks General Mills!!!

Be sure to like their Facebook page so you can find out about great deals in the future!!

Happy cereal eating!!!!!

“Disclosure – I am participating in the Fibre 1 Almond & Cluster Delight Cereal blogger campaign by Mom Central Canada on behalf of General Mills. I received compensation as a thank you for participating and for sharing my honest opinion. The opinions on this blog are my own.”

Work Ethic... What I Learned......

Recently Ma and I were discussing how my sister and I were raised different then a lot of kids in the sense that we had very few chores. We had to help when asked, pick up after ourselves and keep our rooms clean, but other than that it was pretty slack.

Ma got a lot of criticism when we were young. People were sure we weren’t learning a work ethic and we wouldn’t know how to take care of ourselves, our families or our homes when we grew up.

Mom doesn’t (didn’t) share the same beliefs as most folks…..

She explained to me that she feels taking care of your home, family etc. is a very important job, but none of it is rocket science. You don’t need fifteen years practice scrubbing a floor, toilet or doing laundry to get good at it. Also there is a very, very small window of time when you don’t have to worry about these things and she wanted that to be a gift we got to enjoy.

She explained to me that she believed that a work ethic wasn’t entirely learned, she feels some people are born with ambitious natures and others are not.

She also explained that any learning that does happen she believes is through example…

On Saturday I tackled cleaning my house between our town’s Sports Day parade and community talent show (which by the way Big Sis won!!!!)

Cleaning is pretty mindless and so I put some thought into the lessons I was taught about work and money through the example of my parents….

1.       If you are breaking a sweat you are working too hard – be sure to always work steady (no procrastination) to avoid breaking a sweat.

2.       You can never get up too early – burning daylight is the quickest way to live an unproductive life

3.       You can always stay up too late – distraction tonight  steals our tomorrows

4.       You are never, ever too good for any job. If it is honest and legal and provides you with the money you need to fill your needs then it is good enough for you. The pay is not beneath you. The work no matter how dirty is also not beneath you.

5.       No one is going to hand you everything you need and want – you are going to have to work or do without the things you need or want.

6.       If you are going to do something do it right or don’t do it at all.

7.       You will never have anything if you throw away money. Throwing away money can be accomplished in several ways – straight up wasting - (like throwing away a shampoo bottle with an inch of shampoo in it), stepping over money (not picking up or collecting a returnable container), and tossing money out the window (throwing away change – take care of your pennies and the dollars will take care of themselves)

8.       You can have everything you want you just can’t have everything you want right now.

9.       You are blessed so you can bless others.

10.   Money comes and money goes, enjoy life while you have it and enjoy life when you don’t.

11.   You are not what you own or what you don’t own.

I probably learned more…. These are the first items that quickly pop into my head so I suppose they’ve shaped me the most.

What did you learn (either from your parents or from other people) about work and money???

Honesty.... Always A Gift?????

This is a tale of a struggle of mine……

It starts with a story of one of, if not the greatest gifts I have ever received.

Honesty.

A gift I was first given from my mother. She has always spoken the truth to me. Often the truth is not easy to hear, but the greatest lessons taught to me through her has been when she has been brutally honest. It’s always given from a place of love, because she desires the very best for me.

As I’ve grown there are two other people in my life that aren’t afraid to always tell me like it is. My baby sister and Hubby. They both cut to the chase, tell me when I’m being ridiculous, stubborn, pig headed or as Hubby often says this is not your best you.

That’s the crust of it. These three people love me enough to risk my anger, disapproval, and sadness so that I may be the best me.

They act in a selfless way for my betterment. Sadly there are people who are never blessed with one person that loves them this much. I’m 32 and I’ve been blessed with three – I am filled with overwhelming appreciation for this gift.

This is my perspective on honesty. This is my core, foundational belief about it.

So, it should be easy – a no brainer that I would easily and readily give the same gift to my girls. To the children that I have been entrusted with. God has asked me to take care of two of His precious souls and asked that I would guide them.

It should be easy, but………………. So often in life what should be isn’t.

I struggle that I am doing a huge disservice to Big Sis. I struggle that in this area I am failing her big time.

I have no problems giving this gift of love to Little Sis. We have talked and talked about her great points, about how much I believe in her, but also about her weak points, about the things she needs to work on. On more than one occasion I’ve said something negative about Little Sis to someone when she is sitting right there. I’ve had people appalled that I would say that. My response and Little Sis’s response is that this is nothing she hasn’t heard before. I love her and so I give her the gift that I’ve been given.

We cannot and will not ever grow if we are not made aware of the areas that we need to grow in. God will do what He can to show us these areas and I do believe that life will show us if someone we love doesn’t tell us. The thing is when “life” starts teaching, the lessons are hard, always hard. When lessons are gifted to us by someone we love, the lesson is always easier. I have chosen the word always on purpose – I believe it is this black and white. Lesson by circumstance is ALWAYS harder than lesson by love.

Then there is Big Sis.

I love her, a lot. I pray for her a lot. I want nothing but the best for her.

I am terrified to be honest with her.

I am paralyzed that she can’t handle it. That she’s too fragile and unsteady.

I observe others who love her. Most are also scared. Scared she will be pushed over the edge that she won’t take the lesson and learn. That she will use the lesson as a perfect excuse to self-destruct.

I think that this is the problem with people that are fragile; people are scared to be honest – to give that incredible gift. We tip toe, we walk on egg shells with our breath held, we are not ourselves, and we are terrified to love freely.

Is this fear justified????

I do believe that not everyone needs the same thing in life. That what is a gift to one could be a curse to another. I also believe that parenting is very much individual to each child. That there is not a universal set of tools that works the same for all kids.

Is my reluctance with Big Sis this idea put into practice?

I do believe life lessons are harder than love lessons, but is the hard way perhaps the best way for this beautiful girl????

Or am I hoarding a great gift that she desperately needs??????????

The Emperor of all Maladies, by Siddhartha Mukherjee- 3 out of 5 Blessed So and So Smiles

(You can't look inside - it's just the picture I stole says you can.... sorry!! Although really when I think about it - this isn't much of a loss - it's a book it's full of words inside.....)

So.... really I AM still working on my list!! I really am!! I’m reading away – there have been some diversions of course – you know The Fifty Shade craze came up and I had to check it out, Big Sis has insisted I try some of her books, I have The Great Gatsby (not on my list) waiting at the library. Still I’m slowly plugging away and one day I will be done.

Right now my goal is to one day be caught up on my reviews…. This review makes it so I am six books behind…. I just have so much to say about so many other things I never get to my list.....

Okay so now onto the real business of this post – The Review of The Emperor of all maladies, by Siddhartha Mukherjee.

I really wish I would have made my rating system 10 smiles instead of 5 – giving this book only 3 makes it sound much worse than it is. If I had been intelligent and rated all the books out of 10 I would give this book a 7 easy!

This book is a biography on Cancer.

Yep you heard read me right it is the entire history of cancer, sounds VERY dry I know, but it actually was super interesting! It was a long read! It was a bit like reading a text book (an interesting one) and so often times I had to reread pages to make sure I got the concept. This fact, combined with 592 pages, mixed with my limited time to read and slow reading skills, meant this book was in my possession for quite some time. Thank God the library I use doesn't charge late fees!

It was very well done and had personal stories and struggles mixed in. This made it much less textbook and much more a biography.

I can’t imagine even attempting to take on the challenge of writing a biography of cancer, but Mukherjee does a really great job of it!

I read that Mukherjee’s inspiration for this book was many patients who said "I’m willing to go on fighting, but I need to know what it is that I’m battling.” I think this intention adds depth and a level of compassion you wouldn’t expect to find.

The Emperor of all Maladies has won a great number of awards and was described, by Time magazine as one of the 100 most influential books of the last 100 years, and by the New York Times magazine as among the 100 best works of non-fiction.

And once again my list makes me rejoice. No way in a million billion years would I have EVER picked up this book to read if it had not been on the list!!

Relationship

Was texting to a friend – who was sharing her excitement about receiving her Santa’s Choice Hamper. For those of you that don’t know what that is the website is here – but to sum it up quickly you pay every month for a year toward a stockpile of food which comes this time of year and then there is another option to pay more and have one come at Christmas.

I used to do both the Christmas and the summer one. Initially we quit to save money. You know watch your pennies and all that jazz.

I’ve posted before how I grocery shop in an odd way. I buy as I need a couple of bags every day or two. I started this for two reasons. First I love our local grocery store, but it really isn’t set up for a big three or four hundred dollar shop – the carts are small, only one till is open and so on and so forth. Second I have limited time and dedicating a bunch of hours on a day off to list making, grocery shopping, putting away appealed to me less and less as time went on.

I was concerned when the idea of buying as I go occurred to me that I would put us in the poor house. Hubby was kind enough to let me try if I kept track for a couple of months. I did and it was not more expensive, in fact it may have been cheaper. Which is odd, but cool in its own right…..

I’ve also written this before, but after months of shopping this way a whole new mindset crept up on me. I suddenly felt that grocery shopping was somehow a spiritual experience. I know I’m crazy!! I felt like each day I was trusting God to give us what we needed, not storing up, but just day by day trusting. Of course my ever wise mom pointed out I wasn’t necessarily totally crazy as there are quite a few scriptures about just this sort of thing. Either way instead of being comforted by full shelves and a full fridge and freezer, the lack of excess brings me peace.

Obviously Santa’s Choice Hampers do not go with this whole day by day thing as the entire principle is to have a stockpile. I received the latest catalogue a week or two ago and browsed thinking maybe we should jump on the band wagon again. Looking at all the pictures of piles of food and thinking of having all of that in my home, actually made my tummy do a flip….. Again, crazy I know!!!!!!

Okay so as my dear friend texted her excitement I shared my craziness with her, because well that’s what you do with dear friends.

This spurred on a thought process of my crazy ways and I was again reminded how even though I’m odd and not like everyone I know that the way I grocery shop actually strengthens my relationship with Christ.

(See I finally DID get around to talking about relationship)

Now sadly I am human and humans think horrible awful thoughts and I will admit publically here (although it seriously pains me to do so) that I was next inclined to think that perhaps maybe I was further along some spiritual journey because of my grocery shopping tendency. (Okay now that I write that sentence out I really see how ridiculous that sounds, but I’m just trying to keep it real folks!)

Now most of me knew this was wrong and not at all in line with Christ, but never the less the thought crossed my mind and so I figured a serious chat with my maker was in order. Here’s what He told me…….

I’m so jazzed by this and so excited my fingers are barely keeping up with my thoughts, I will admit I’m writing this down for me mostly so I will cement this lesson…..

So the conversation started me saying, “Okay God here’s the thing……….”

I sheepishly explained my horrible thoughts. Trust me as much as it hurt to write them here it hurt a lot more to tell them to the Big Guy!  

Suddenly my mind was flooded with an explanation.

On earth you have many different relationships with many different people and the actions that strengthen each relationship are completely different. For example the actions I take to form a bond with a dear friend are very different then the actions I take with Hubby!!

So why would it be any different with Christ???

Actions have nothing to do with spirituality. As soon as you are born again you are filled with The Spirit. Not a portion or degree of The Spirit, but the entire deal!! Actions build or break relationships and relationship with Christ has everything to do with your quality of life here on earth, but not spirituality!!!

Relationship is VERY individualistic; everyone will have their very own unique actions that strengthen their personal relationship. Actions that I find really deepen my bond with Christ could do nothing for another person. Just like what I do with my dear friend would do nothing to strengthen my relationship with Hubby!!!

It’s like the whole love language craze! How we all speak and receive love differently and how very important this is to marriages. In fact this topic was what I planned to write about today – that specific post will have to wait for another day…….

Isn’t it easy to assume we all speak and receive love differently from Christ????

So………… there you have it……… what the devil meant for my harm (a quick trip on an extremely self-righteous train) God has taken for my good (a super, exciting lesson that has pumped me up).

I’m so thankful that was nipped early. That I didn’t run with those worldly, awful, terrible thoughts. Too often I do…….. too often I get carried away in this world and with the devil’s lies, it delights me so when one is squashed early!!!!!!!!

Phew…………………………… my fingers are exhausted!!! LOL! Happy Tuesday everyone!!!

June Some Day Tasks…..

 

May, May where did you go on me????

I want to say the month flew by…. I want to say that, but I can’t really….. I mean of course it went by quickly as all months tend to do, but some fly at a rocket or lighting speed while others or more in a superfast race car category!!

For me May was like a race car…..

Yet still I did VERY poorly with my tasks…… after such a GREAT month in April – it’s a shame…..

The only REAL positive thing is I’m still posting and working at my 2013 list….. this makes me smile!! Last year I posted for January and February…. My 2012 someday list never got another thought after those two months. So the fact I’m still going (even if some months are weaker than others) is for me a BIG deal….

Okay so now onto the disappointing results of May…………..

1.       Send 4 Thank You Cards – Done (one was a thinking of you card, but for this pitiful month I am counting this item done and hey it’s my list so I can do that!!)

2.       Swim Once – Not done

3.       Walk Twice – Not done

4.       Start planning tea party – Not done

5.       Move herbs to pots – Done

6.       Contact friend from high school - Done

7.       Visit dear senior friend – Not done

8.       Visit other two dear senior friends – Not done

9.       Set up and order online scrap book – Not done

10.   Pics @ BBQ and Scrabble Making – Half done – Scrabble making yes – BBQ no because I left camera at mom and dad’s after scrabble making!!

11.   Make 6 handmade cards – Done

12.   15 sit ups & push ups every day – Not Done

13.   Steal Lilies from Dad and plant – Done

Well so this makes the creation of my June Some Day list on the easy side….. It’s almost a repeat of May….. Thank the Lord I have been blessed with another month to try!

1.       Send 4 Thank You Cards

2.       Swim Once

3.       Walk Twice

4.       Start planning tea party

5.       Nail down a meeting date with friend from high school

6.       Visit dear senior friend

7.       Visit other two dear senior friends

8.       Set up and order online scrap book

9.       Take pictures at sports day, soccer district finals, my baby  sis’s BBQ, whatever father’s day event we plan and @ whatever we plan for my Dad’s birthday

10.   Make 6 handmade cards

11.   15 sit ups & push ups every day

Happy Monday everyone!!!! Wish me better luck in June then I had in May!!!!